


Wikipedia Says I'm Secretly in Love with You

by Sammy_who_are_these_people



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-06 01:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_who_are_these_people/pseuds/Sammy_who_are_these_people
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It…um…" Puck has to look away to answer because he won't be able to bare the disgust that he knows will cloud those currently open and accepting eyes like Fungus in less than a minute. He knows it will hurt worse than the morning he spent separating the stupid roses by color and tying them into different arrangements, deciding they looked off with whatever he'd put them with, and having to do them over. Worse than a thousand thorns; it will be a fucking Cactus stabbed through his chest and Marigolds will sprout from his eyes and Love-Lies-Bleeding will become his reality, not just a weeping flower. "It means…I mean, it's a Gardenia. And um …" he clears his throat quickly, staring at his bandages fingertips. "Wikipedia says it means I'm secretly in love with you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wikipedia Says I'm Secretly in Love with You

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fill for the Valentine's Day One Sentence Meme, 2012, over at the Puckurt Community on LJ. If it's not obvious, that's possible SPOILER ALERT for Season 3.

It takes a minute to remember that he's home alone and that he hasn't turned the TV on today for Puck to realize that the doorbell is actually ringing. Puck sighs, which turns into a yawn as he stands up from the kitchen table and stretches stiffly, he has no idea what time it is, but the back of his neck hurts from being hunched over his laptop for so long, and he's kind of thirsty, and his fingertips still smart underneath the band-aids. Puck wishes it wasn't true that every rose has its thorn. He scans the span of the kitchen table and he isn't surprised to realize that his eyes aren't even bothered anymore by the many colors competing to catch his attention with their brightness, and he also isn't surprised to realize that by now, the many conflicting scents have become accepted as oxygen.

The doorbell rings and Puck sighs again, inwardly this time as he pads out of the kitchen and down the hall to the front door, wondering who would be coming around his house on the Saturday afternoon before Valentine's Day - because everybody else he knows has a life and are out there living it and are freaking the fuck out over glitter-drenched, rose-stenched sales and hoping to be shot by Chucky's aphrodisia-dipped arrows by Tuesday night. Even his mom and sister are out there doing he-forgets-what but knows it has something to do with more freaking flowers that he'll be somehow roped into arranging. Again.

It's not until he opens the door and comes face-to-face with a wide-eyed Kurt Hummel that Puck remembers that he also has a life to live, and that he'd agreed to go out with his fellow Gleeks tonight to celebrate whatever Rachel's excuse was for celebrating (he's pretty sure it was something about morally supporting Blaine from afar, since he's in the hospital for a couple of days and hasn't yet been allowed to have visitors, oh, and some bigger, even vaguer thing about marriage - even though Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury got engaged, like, weeks ago.) But then he's kind of confused because he thought Rachel said she would come to pick him up since he wouldn't have a ride.

"Uh, hey...Kurt." He greets with mildly evident confusion because this is weird. Not only has Kurt never had a reason to personally ring his doorbell, but Kurt is just standing there, staring, and Puck is pretty sure that the bell-ringer is supposed to greet the bell-ringee first. There's also evidence of something else in his voice, easily blamed on the fact that he might've maybe had a barely-there-and-easily-ignored small crush on Kurt since...kind of a while.

"Puck." Kurt says suddenly, blinking once in surprise as if Puck is the one ringing Kurt's doorbell. "Hi. Um," and then he's talking in that quick, somewhat breathless way that he does, "Rachel told me she was going to pick you up but then something happened with her dads, and Finn of course offered for me to take her in my car, awfully presumptuous mind you, but it's Finn so I've gotten used to it, and then she remembered that you needed a ride, and I figured that I have the extra room, so why not? I mean we're cool, right? But then I guess I should've called first seeing as you look...comfortable. I'm sorry, I know it's earlier than you were expecting but I was out this way anyway and-"

"Hey Kurt, how are you? I'm fine, thanks, what are you doing here?" Puck cuts in with a large grin, which isn't totally dripping in sarcasm but is pretty teasing, and it makes Kurt shut up with a smile. And then Kurt repeats, slower than a hummingbird's wings this time, the part about Rachel not being able to make it, and he hopes Puck doesn't mind but Kurt figured he could pick him up since he was out this way before he swings back for Rachel and Finn. Puck replies saying how, no, he doesn't mind, he actually appreciates it but as Kurt can see he isn't ready, and would he find waiting for a few minutes while Puck goes to throw something else on? And Kurt is still smiling because of course he doesn't mind and they have plenty of time before the others are supposed to show up at the restaurant anyway.

And Kurt's eyes keep glancing down at Puck's hand, and at first Puck thinks it's because of all the band-aids. But when he looks down, he discovers that he's been nervously fingering a white Gardenia flower this whole time and he realizes that he must've not put it down before coming to answer the door. "Oh, uh…" Puck is not blushing but he does feel kind of embarrassed because, random flower, oh yeah and he's wearing his black milk-bottle glasses because some of the flowers were fucking with his contacts.

Kurt looks kind of bemused when Puck holds up the flower, trying to figure out what to do with it. And when Puck just decides what the hell, why not (forgetting exactly why it is a bad idea) and holds the Gardenia out to Kurt, Kurt just blinks his wide glasz eyes – Puck will never admit to looking up what the color is called on Wikipedia – and accepts with a thank you and a genuine smile and is that a faint blush dusting his porcelain cheeks? Why, yes it is.

Puck tries his best to shrug it off and he invites Kurt in, as cool as you please, while he goes to change. "Oh, um…and ignore the mess. I was doing this project for Ma. She's kinda eccentric, you know? And she um…changes her hobby. A lot. She's on flower-arranging now and somehow I got stuck learning how to do it. Uh…" and jeez why does he keep saying that? He totally blames it on Kurt's expression as he takes in the scene in the kitchen. It makes him feel like maybe he should've asked Kurt to wait by the door, but it's not like he wouldn't have been able to tell considering the entire damn please smells like a greenhouse or something. "Lame, right?"

Kurt's jaw is dropped, parting his lips to reveal a black space because for some reason he never shows his teeth, not like Puck will ever admit to noticing, and his eyes dart around the kitchen and through the doorway to the living room where some of the larger, completed arrangements are visible on the floor and the coffee table and blocking the view of the TV. "This is…wow. Puck…"

Puck just sort of stands there silently, watching Kurt take in the vases of bright yellow, I'm-shouting-in-your-face-that-I-love-you Sunflowers and abundant Chrysanthemums drowning out the pink Peonies' shy I-love-you-toos, and the openly red Anthurium plants and white Queen Anne's Lace next to the enthusiastically pink Double Bouvardias. He watches Kurt glance at the anticipating purple Anemone flowers, and the more patient red Aster, and the blue I'm-trying-to-work-with-you Delphiniums. The heartfelt Hydrangeas and admiring Gladiolus and Heathers are being pushed to the side by the daring King Proteas and hard-to-miss Birds of Paradise, but the youthfully innocent Baby's Breath and Lilacs and Freesias silently beckon with pointing bunches, as if they're playing hide-and-seek. Puck can tell that Kurt thinks the pink Orchids and white Sweet Peas are pleasing to the eye, where as the pots of Ranunculus are ridiculously radiant, and the Angrec, Jasmine, and Calla Lilies are just plain regal.

There are the Bachelor Buttons, the Bauhinias, the imported Cherry Blossoms and the Bamboo – his mom had a field day ordering those. Daffodils and Dahlias and Irises and freaking Daisies, and the Lotuses and the Fuchsias and Magnolias – and don't forget the Forget-Me-Nots, or the vain Narcissus or Nasturtium or Pansies or goddamned Petunias. And, ugh, the Poinsettias and Tulips and Acacias and the what-the-hell-is-a-Rhododendron? And annoying purplish Wisterias and rainbow-eye-sore Zinnias and blue Morning-fucking-Glories galore. And the Roses. Jesus freaking Christ all the Roses, and the Carnations too.

Puck still can't stop wondering why people give one type of flower so many fucking meanings. Red, oh my god my heart freaking aches for you, true love. White, I'm so innocent you could love me 'cause I'm just oh so faithful, unlike that sinful, lustful orange thing over there. And oh yeah, I'm pink, but you can't have me unless I'm just that certain shade of pink that tells you if I'm gratefully or passionately in love with you. Or, I'm violet, I'm whimsical, I've loved you since I saw a glimpse of the back of your head 'cause I'm a stalker, and I can't even apologize for it because I'm not yellow. Really! If you wanted to tell somebody you fell in love with them at first sight, why run from fucking store to store freaking out about them running out of violet roses when you could just get a goddamned THORNLESS one that supposedly means the same thing and save Puck the effort and the BLOODLOSS? God!

"…I'm just gonna go change now." Puck says, because Kurt finally looks about ready to say something about the insanely copious amount of flora in his house, but Puck really just wants to get out of here because he's been listening to all the colors screaming at him all day and now he's giving them voices in his head and that's just insane.

He leaves Kurt gaping in the kitchen, runs to throw on something appropriate, nothing too fancy but it is Saturday night and he's expected (by Rachel) to at least look decent in Breadstix, and when he returns after putting his contacts in, Kurt is hunched over his chair, looking at something on Puck's laptop. Puck remembers that he'd left up a window with eight different tabs, each a different website about flower meanings or flower arranging, and Kurt is probably thinking it's all too much even if Puck is doing it for his mom, and Puck isn't sure if there's anything else he can say to defend himself. Puck stands in the kitchen doorway, hands in the pockets of his jacket to hide the anxious twitching of his bandaged fingers, but there's nothing to hide the slight sound of his tapping foot against the tiled floor, and Kurt whips around when his ears pick up the noise only to find Puck watching him. Kurt looks only slightly sheepish at first, as he's caught snooping, with a faint look of surprise at how quickly Puck changed – now presented with the familiar lack of glasses and fashion sense. But then he visibly pulls himself together and smiles.

There's been quite a few smiles sent Puck's way in the past ten minutes, and Puck tries not to acknowledge the way his own pulse quickens because it's Kurt who's smiling at him.

"So you're a flower expert now, huh Puck?" Kurt asks, never dropping the smile, and Puck can't tell if he's being mocked, or if Kurt is just surprised or confused or genuinely curious. And Puck shrugs because nah, not really, he has to look up everything on the Internet like all the meanings of the flowers because apparently his mom wants bouquets to say different things before she goes out to give them to people, and he thinks it's stupid but whatever if it makes her happy, which makes Kurt give him this weird look. But then it's gone and he's smiling and Puck doesn't know why but it seems to have gotten…softer, or something, and Kurt is saying, "Well I think that's sweet, Noah…You know…My mother use to arrange flowers. I've missed all the smells," and Puck thinks, oh. That explains the tenderness in his eyes. Unsure what to say to that, Puck throws out an "I kind of can't smell them anymore", which earns him a laugh.

And then Kurt is gesturing to his laptop almost ashamedly, but not quite because Kurt is never ashamed when he talks to Puck, and he says, "So you, like…know what all of those" gesture to the thrown-up rainbow behind him, "mean?"

"Nah, not all of them. There's too many." Puck responds, and then he's telling Kurt about the underestimated romanticism of the Sunflower and how the meanings of the others tend to differ based on region, and Kurt asks if the Bamboo and Sakuras are imported, and Puck says yes and goes into what some of the flowers mean in Asian tradition and which Greek gods others are named for or symbolize. He ends up giving a mini-tour through his kitchen and into the living room, "Oh, sorry, watch the Hibiscus; those mean delicate beauty, by the way", and they somehow wind up framed next to each other on the couch, Globe Amaranth, Arbutus, Primrose and Almond flowers standing on the table in front of them, with a bowl of Honeysuckle and Ambrosia on Kurt's left, and Jonquil and Clovers on Puck's right.

Kurt is impressed that Mrs. Puckerman was able to get a hold of all the different plants, and Puck tells him how his mom's good friend is a flight attendant who picks up or sends home plants from wherever she lands all over the world, and Kurt wishes that he had knew a flight attendant to send him some authentic clothes from Europe. Puck says that he and his sister get things too sometimes and that maybe he could hook Kurt up, and when Kurt laughs, Puck mentally counts that as another three points. It turns into a trivia, with Kurt pointing to a certain arrangement and Puck rattling off the name, meaning, and where he's pretty sure his mom's friend picked it up from, and Kurt teases him saying that Puck lied because he does know what all of them mean, and Puck can't help that he retains information easily, and that's how he passes grades even when he didn't show up to class much in the past. And Kurt is once again impressed.

When there's a lull in the rapid-fire, the silence isn't uncomfortable. They sit there, having forgotten about the dinner at Breadstix, and just share each other's warmth without admitting that it's what they're doing, or that they're each enjoying it. Kurt is glancing around at all the plants, still clearly fascinated, probably trying to remember all the names and meanings for future reference, or reminiscing about the days long ago when his mother shared her studies in floriography with him. Puck is just marveling with side-long glances that Kurt Hummel is sitting next to him, willingly, on his couch, in his house, looking breathtaking and somehow making all the other vibrant colors in the room pale by comparison. After a few minutes, Kurt turns to face Puck and Puck quickly averts his stare to his lap as if he hadn't been staring before meeting Kurt's gaze with a nonchalantly quirked eyebrow.

"So then…what does this one mean?" Kurt asks, holding up the white Gardenia that Puck forgot all about and is kind of surprised but strangely slightly thrilled to find that Kurt has been hanging onto all this time. "I don't think I saw a vase of these."

Pucks says how there is one but it's up in his room because they're his favorite flower, and Kurt looks surprised for a moment and asks why they're his favorite. And Puck just shrugs because he doesn't really know, they're pretty? Which makes Kurt roll his eyes because he just knows that there's another reason, which there is, and Kurt knows that he's withholding the true reason and Kurt wants to know what it is. Puck wonders why Kurt won't just let it go, and Kurt sighs but backs off because he knows how it feels when people won't stop asking questions, but could Puck at least just tell him what it means because his mom used to have them in her garden?

There's no way Puck can refuse after that. And he knows it's not like Kurt said it intentionally to manipulate him, but still; now Puck feels obligated. Only, there was a reason why he'd hoped not to have to explain this one, the same reason why he should've known better than to give it to Kurt. The meaning of the Gardenia is extremely, inappropriately accurate, and Puck knows that once he says it, the comfort and ease of this whole situation will dissipate and everything will be awkward. And he doesn't want that, because he secretly loves that he and Kurt are cool now, friends even, and he'd hate for anything to mess that up.

But Kurt is looking at him with those unfairly beautiful eyes, wide and waiting and Puck can't refuse because he doesn't have a striped Carnation.

"It…um…" Puck has to look away to answer because he won't be able to bare the disgust that he knows will cloud those currently open and accepting eyes like Fungus in less than a minute. He knows it will hurt worse than the morning he spent separating the stupid roses by color and tying them into different arrangements, deciding they looked off with whatever he'd put them with, and having to do them over. Worse than a thousand thorns; it will be a fucking Cactus stabbed through his chest and Marigolds will sprout from his eyes and Love-Lies-Bleeding will become his reality, not just a weeping flower. "It means…I mean, it's a Gardenia. And um …" he clears his throat quickly, staring at his bandages fingertips. "Wikipedia says it means I'm secretly in love with you."

Expectedly, there's silence, and this time the silence is uncomfortable and heavy and it's so heavy that it causes Puck's shoulders to sag and his stomach to drop, he feels like a wilting flower and he can't lift his eyes from his fingers, but he can feel Kurt's stare. After a couple of minutes he feels Kurt moving away, leaving him cold, and he hears Kurt stand up, and Puck closes his eyes because damn it he's such a screw-up, and he wants to stop Kurt with a purple Hyacinth to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me" and an Iris to say "your friendship means so much to me", because how could he forget that Kurt is still technically with Blaine though they've been weird lately? Stupid fucking idiot.

He listens to Kurt move around the couch and waits to hear the clacking of his heels on the kitchen's tile floor, and for the front door to open and slam shut, and for the Navigator to start up and pull out of his driveway off to join their friends at Breadstix which he'd forgotten about, and he waits to hear his heart stop beating. Instead, he hears a small rusting behind him, in the kitchen for a minute, and then somewhere back in the living room off to Puck's right, then to his left, and behind the couch again, and out of curiosity Puck opens his eyes again to see what's going on despite his instinct to keep them closed as a defense against tears. Kurt is still here. And he's coming back toward Puck with what looks like a hastily made bouquet.

Kurt sits gingerly back down on the sofa next to Puck, and Puck's left side is gracious for the return of heat. He meets Kurt's gaze hesitantly, because he doesn't want to see the Fungus, but if Kurt is disgusted he would've left just now, right? He's wondering. And then Kurt plucks a flower out of the bunch in his grip and holds it out to Puck. A peony. Puck is wondering what Kurt is giving him a Peony for, and he tries to recall what the particular shade means, and when he remembers his eyes get wide because he's surprised that Kurt remembered and that Kurt is actually using a flower to ask him if he's gay. Puck doesn't know how to respond because he doesn't go around looking for guys but he does have a slight crush that's actually more like love for Kurt, and he doesn't know what that makes him. And he knows that Kurt wouldn't believe him if he says he's bi because of that whole thing with Blaine and Rachel last year, but he doesn't know how else to describe what he feels.

Kurt clearly anticipated this though, because he's shaking his head at Puck's conflicted expression and holding out a Daffodil, and Puck nods this time because yes, he is uncertain. And when Kurt next holds out a white Chrysanthemum, Puck nods again because yes, he is being honest. Then Kurt is holding out an Eglantine Rose, a Mimosa, a pink Lilac and an Iris, and Puck isn't sure if he's reading this thing right but he's pretty sure that Kurt is saying that he'd been weary of Puck because of their history as tormentor and victim, and that Kurt needed time to trust him, but that he's accepted him as a friend and actually values their friendship because of what they've been through. Puck knows he's correct when Kurt next hands him an Aster to assert his trust, and returns Puck's small smile. And then Puck has to grin and finally break the weighing silence with a chuckle as Kurt hands over a Light Pink Rose, Variegated Tulip, and a white Camellia.

"You find me adorable, Hummel?" Puck teases and the same dusting of color from earlier pricks at Kurt's cheeks again. "And you think my eyes are beautiful. You're so sweet."

"Shut up. I couldn't find any other way to tell you that you…" Kurt trails off with a mumble at the end. Puck asks him to repeat himself, and Kurt does but not much louder, so it takes another try for Puck to understand the embarrassed "you look good with your glasses on", and then he's the one stuttering a candidly bashful "oh, um…really? I thought they made me look, you know, like a loser" and Kurt is suddenly reassuring him that "no, no! They're super hot!" punctuated with a deeper flush in his cheeks and averted eyes. But the silence has been perforated and Puck can breathe, so he's smiling. Like, really smiling, and he nudges Kurt with a warm and sincere thank you which Kurt answers to in kind. But then both of their smiles falter as they each realize that Kurt still has three flowers left to give Puck, and they both remember Puck's abstract confession, and they both know that they can't just leave it there.

"Look, Noah…" Kurt says, and Puck is at once grateful that he speaks first, until he remembers that Kurt is about to dry out his heart and stick it between the blank pages of a dusty book. He grips the flowers in his hand tighter, holding onto their reassurance like a lifeline because it seems like Kurt will still want to be friends even if he doesn't want Puck, and at least that's something, right? "This is all…really unexpected. I mean I don't know if…I mean I didn't even know that you, you know, and Blaine and I, we…Noah? Wait a second Noah, look at me." Puck isn't aware that he's started to wilt again until Kurt places a hand on his shoulder, and he has to open his eyes to realize that they were closed. They're stinging, and the flowers in his lap are a blur of colors. Fucking contacts…

Beside him, Kurt sighs, but he doesn't remove his hand from Puck's shoulder and Puck can feel it like the Sun, and his body instinctively soaks in the warmth. "Listen to me, Noah. Blaine and I, we kind of broke up last week." And Puck is shocked. He turns to look at Kurt because what? Why? And Kurt says he's not even sure, that maybe they just simultaneously realized that ever since Sebastian came into the picture, their trust has been strained, and they'd rather rebuild their foundational friendship than repair a rapidly deteriorating relationship. And Puck is still confused because he thought they were tight, but apparently there's been things going on behind the scenes, and he's not sure why Kurt is telling him this if he's just planning to reject him. "Noah, what I'm trying to say is…" and Kurt actually looks a bit frustrated, but not at Puck, it's because he honestly doesn't know what he's trying to say (which shocks Puck even more because a Kurt at a loss for words is just so…odd, yet endearing), and that's why he picked out the flowers because they could speak for him. Which Puck thinks is pretty cool because it means that Kurt actually cared when he was asking those questions about the flowers.

So Kurt hands Puck the last three flowers of his dozen, but holds onto the Gardenia that Puck gave him. And Puck is staring at the Carolina Rose warning him that love is dangerous, which Puck already knows because he's had his heart broken several times in the past and was pretty sure he was about to get it broken again but now he's not so sure. Because the other two flowers are a Pink Zinnia, the large eye-sore flower, promising lasting affection, and a single small purple Viscaria, which…"You want me…to dance with you?"

"Yes." Kurt answers. And he smiles. And it's not really a yes or a no, but it's precious, and Puck lights up because Kurt values their friendship and thinks he's adorable and spoke to him through floriography, which is just plain awesome, and even though he hasn't given a straight answer this time either, his eyes are as bright as screaming Sunflowers even if they're the wrong color. Puck thinks a Glasz Sunflower would look pretty awesome anyway. "But there are too many flowers in here."

"No, not here. We don't have time. Rachel's probably wondering where we are." Kurt says, and he's still looking at Puck with those eyes and he's still smiling and he's tucking the Gardenia behind his left ear so that he can hear Puck's confession whispered on replay. Then he takes the Viscaria out of Puck's hand and tucks it into Puck's breast pocket, right over his heart. "On Tuesday, in Glee. Will you dance with me?"

And Puck looks around, goes over to the nearest vase of Carnations and plucks a solid red yes-because-my-heart-aches-for-you, then returns to the couch and holds it out to Kurt with a smile, "affirmative", and Kurt actually grins. And Puck wonders if there's a flower that says "your teeth are adorable".


End file.
